Comfydown Cottage

Address Withheld

Carryduff

Belfast

Dear Patent Office,

I think I’ve Just invented something and would like it patented.

The Marley Compensating Disperator

This is an artist’s impression

I haven’t invented the secret mixture yet, which is a bit of a pity because I believe it’s the secret mixture that will make it work.

I dreamed this whole thing up recently whilst dreaming.  I remember the name and what it looks like but unfortunately I was awoken be my neighbour’s lawn mower (the noise of it) before finding out what it does. Bertie Noames (my neighbour) knows I have a lie-in every Tuesday but he makes sure he mows his lawn on that morning rain, hail or, quite literally, snow.  He also revs his car engine each Tuesday morning and doesn’t stop until my curtains are open but I digress.

Please could you advise me if anyone has come up with a Compensating Disperator before?  If not, please could you patent this at once.

Yours Sincerely

John J Marley

PATENT OFFICE REPLY