Comfydown Cottage

Address Withheld

Carryduff

Belfast

Dear Mr Marmite

I do hope you can settle an argument my wife Gloria, I’m her husband, and I have been having for the last 13 years.

The argument is about the origins of your product. You see Gloria is convinced that Marmite is a by-product of the brewing industry whereas I know different. I’m quite sure that you invented Marmite as a bit of a joke, something to see how much of a laugh you can have.

I reckon that a group of you all got together and decided to make an unbelievably extreme product. I can just imagine how things sounded- someone asking ‘what colour should we make this?’ and someone else saying ‘how about a really yucky blacky brown?’ and everyone laughing and saying ‘yes, lets try that’. Then on flavour ‘what about salty or sweet?’ And some joker saying ‘lets try for both and make it all sticky and runny too’. And amazingly you managed to do this.

Having said this, we are both big Marmite fans, Gloria slightly more so than me. In fact she can be a bit extreme, her Marmite Meringues, although sounding good from an alliteration point of view, taste understandably vile. So hopefully you can clear this up for us and let us get back to enjoying our boiled egg and soldiers in peace, well, relative peace anyway. It’s only a matter of time before she comes up with something else.

Yours sincerely

John J Marley