| MARKS & SPENCERS |
Comfydown Cottage Address Withheld Carryduff Belfast Dear Marks and Spencers
My wife Gloria, I’m her husband has prompted me to write to you about your TV ads. She says that, yes, certainly the food looks nice, but its posh food.
Here in Northern Ireland our tastes are a bit more simple. Basically if you cant fry it in lard we don’t want to know. She overheard a woman on the bus tell a friend that ‘brackly’, broccoli I surmise, was like green ‘calliflar’ again cauliflower I guess. Anyway I digress. Gloria was thinking you should do some regional ads for your TV campaign. You could have that hilarious comedian Jimmy Cricket doing the voice over. He could say something like,
‘Here this is none of yer auld common dennys muck this is yer hand killed pig that was reared on turnips and stuff, this is not yer Ormo soddie farls, these are like the ones yer granny used to make and are dead on…….This is not ordinary grub this is Marksies , (cause that’s what we call you here) grub.
He would be more than capable of a few ‘here’ and ‘wait til I tell ya’ ad libs. Then at the end he could appear walking away from camera and modifying his side splitting wellington jape they could sport the legend S & M. It would work a treat I’m sure.
Just incase you are concerned about Gloria’s credentials she frequently contributes suggestions to Saatchi and Saatchi and what most people don’t realise was that the Hovis ad with the delivery boy was her idea. In fairness it was the advertising agency that came up with the bike and the pretty village on the hill otherwise it was all hers.
Anyway, I know she’d love to hear your views on this. She doesn’t know I’ve sent this so your reply will be a nice surprise.
Yours faithfully
John J Marley |