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Address Withheld Carryduff Belfast Food Standards Agency Northern Ireland 10 A-C Clarendon Road Belfast BTI 3BG 22/11/2006 Dear Food Standards Authority,
Please excuse the tearstains on this letter. You see I’m grieving for my mother. She’s not dead, it’s just that she’s had to go on holiday and I’ve taken her place. I’m grieving instead of her. Her rabbit died.
At first we thought the rabbit died from shame when all its fur fell out. It fell out shortly after eating some leftovers my wife Gloria (I’m her husband) gave it so we presume it was allergic to something it ate (perhaps the Turpentine), but since my mother has been away the vet has established the rabbit died of old age. My question to you is this- can we cook it? You see Gloria has had the wonderful idea of mashing it into her award winning salmon and creosote mousse to make it that extra bit special.
Mr Postlethwaite, our local butcher, awarded her first prize in last year’s local cookery competition and although he and (bizarrely) all the other tasters were in hospital for most of the year, it is hoped that if the competition goes ahead this year, Gloria will retain her first place.
I do so hope you say it’s all right as she’s quite the excited little bunny (Gloria, not Flumper).
Yours Sincerely,
John J Marley
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