| FYFFES |
Comfydown Cottage Address Withheld Carryduff Belfast
Dear Mr Fyffe
My wife Gloria, I’m her husband, have been having an ongoing argument for years now and I am wondering if you could help.
It’s about bananas, of all things. You see Gloria is convinced that bananas are actually manufactured. This stems from her childhood, well from her mothers childhood really. Her mother told her that during the war she had been unable to get bananas. When Gloria asked why this was, her mother told her it was because all the banana factories had switched to making munitions. So, from an early age she has believed this to be true. I have known now for some years that this is not the case and they are in fact a fruit, naturally occurring.
No matter how many times I’ve tried to tell her this she refuses to accept this, asking me if I’m casting aspersions on her late Mother. She keeps saying to me ‘do you think bananas grow on trees or something’. I have asked her where she thinks monkeys and other creatures get them from and she simply replies that they must steal them from the green grocers. I can now take this no more and really need your help. Could you please confirm to her that bananas really do grow on trees and aren’t produced en mass in some great banana factory.
By the way she also is convinced that the man from Del Monte exists and that girl really does own the Kenco plantation. As you can see I have my work cut out for me. I desperately look forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely
John J Marley |