Comfydown Cottage

Address Withheld

Carryduff

Belfast

20/3/2009

Dear Diversion (The Dance Company of Wales)

I was wondering if you could help settle an argument for me. You see my wife Gloria, I’m her husband, is adamant that your dance company consists entirely of whales. I told her that your title, The Dance Company of Wales, means that you are representative of the country of Wales as opposed to the big sea mammals.

Gloria is adamant that she saw your company perform at Seaworld in Orlando, Florida. She says that they did a stunning performance of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. She says that there were several killer whales playing the leads with a few dolphins in the minor roles. Her favourite part was were Odette tells the Prince that they will never meet again but Siegfried prevents her from joining her companions in the ruin, and snatching her crown from her head throws it into the raging lake. The lovers are engulfed in the waters, the storm subsides, and a flock of white swans is seen on the lake. Gloria said she was absolutely soaking at this point.

I have told her that what she witnessed was simply a piece of circus style entertainment but she is insistent that the expression and feeling that the animals put into the performance was breathtaking and there is no way that that was what she saw. Can you please, please tell her that you are a national dance company consisting of entirely human performers? No Whales, no dolphins, no porpoises, seals or any other water or indeed land based animal life. I’ve taken to sleeping in the boot of our Austin Maxi just to avoid her going on about this. So, not only will you be settling an argument you will allowing me a good nights sleep and the ability to save a fortune at the chiropractor.

Just on the off chance that Gloria is in fact correct and you are a whale based dance troop, can you let me know how you transport your animals between venues and how long it takes to fill the tank you’d obviously need to bring with you? I look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely

NO REPLY